174 Comments
Oct 25, 2023Liked by Olivia Reingold

Well written--worthy of a $25 tip if you’d just asked!

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One thing I can appreciate about going places not-America is that you just pay what it says. A lot of places have VAT too, meaning the tax is in the price. There's nothing hidden - if the menu says it's 1200 yen for your food, you're paying 1200 yen.

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Not having to tip and a VAT tax are two different beasts.

A quick Google tells me VAT taxes across the globe average around 20%. That’s the government demanding a 20% tip on every transaction. That seems Mob-like to me.

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It’s mob like to you but at least in France, it does pay for healthcare, schooling and retirement. Yes these countries have tons of taxes, but the so offer something for it.

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And an overall lower standard of living. There ain't no free lunch.

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founding

In France? In what aspect do you find their standard of living to be lower? Having been a student there long ago, I found it different than living in the US but in no way objectively inferior, so I’m curious about your experience.

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Smaller homes, smaller cars to name 2. These might not be important to you, but most people, when given the choice, opt for more and bigger.

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founding

Fair enough. I tend to find the ever-increasing size of American houses to be excessive and needlessly expensive. But I did just buy an SUV, so guilty as charged there. :-)

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founding

Free university, 6 weeks of paid vacation per year, 10 if you work for the government, at least 16 weeks of maternity leave (6 before delivery, 10 weeks after, 20 if it is your third child), retirement at 63 (all this if you are not self-employed). However, much lower income than in the US.

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The standard of living in France (and the rest of Europe for that matter) is far lower than the United States. Sure there are a few more bleak government services as a backstop but it comes at the cost of a lower quality of life, less innovative economy and fewer options across the board.

Give the United States any day where I’m the master of my own decisions, I decide how I’d like to spend my money and I decide when I’d like to not spend my money

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In France it wouldn't be paying for Healthcare if they were paying into their military and being the de-facto world police like the US does. Too bad Eisenhowers warning about the "military industrial complex" fell on deaf ears

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It’s not just the military. There’s an advocacy, bureaucratic, and commercial complex in every policy area.

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founding

The French don’t tip. The 15% tip is included in the bill but they rarely give more even if they are delighted with the service.

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Back in the day, it was 10%.

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Bridge Master

Take it easy with all those nice French benefits. You get them all if you’re “tenured”, that is you’re old and fully vetted in the system. Precisely because it’s unsustainable, younger people get only contract work or no work, driving the unemployment among young people to stratospheric levels.

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founding

It pays for retirement for actual retirees. There is zero guarantee that the waiter who would like to earn 10% more would get any retirement.

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We have those things in the United States as well and since it’s provided via a market rather than government coercion the quality is superior and I decide whether to purchase or not based on my own assessment of the reasonableness of the exchange. When the government confiscated my money and buys me things on my behalf I have no say over whether the cost is reasonable or not and I’m not offered a choice between competing providers and so cannot choose for myself exactly which service I prefer.

Government coercion is not freedom or progress, it’s authoritarianism.

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Sure, of course they're different. But from the perspective of the consumer it means that the price listed on the menu is the price you pay. While in America, if the menu says $20 for a plate of spaghetti, you're going to end up paying about $28 between tax, tip, and surcharges.

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founding

Just got back from Spain, had to get used to the idea of NOT tipping - and I love it! Tipping here was already getting out of control before the pandemic.

I tipped more money and more often during the pandemic, trying to be generous to those who might be struggling with reduced hours and work opportunities. It's time to walk back from that.

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I prefer tipping culture. I like the idea that I can hand my money directly to the person providing me a service without going through a large company as the middle man. Lastly, employees who work for tips provide a far superior service. Whenever I return home from Europe I always marvel at the noticeable difference in customer service. Everyone is smiling, helpful and speedy relative to the typical European service worker who gets paid the same regardless of whether they provide good service or not.

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It's funny how basically everywhere that is 'not-america' does things 100x smarter than america

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And if you leave three 500 yen coins on the table…they’re chasing you down the street to return your 300 yen change. But that’s in a highly civilized nation.

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I just came back from London and every single food and beverage establishment added a 16% service fee. That's mostly true in every European country I have visited (18% in France) - a non-optional tip.

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My daughter ate at a few places in London and wasn't allowed to take home the leftover food. Was that the norm where you dined?

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We were in Germany and Austria last spring. Tipping creep is coming to all of Europe.

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Currently in Poland and they add the tip into the final bill, print the receipt, but tell me “it’s optional” as they hand over the card reader waiting for me to scan.

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I'd rather hand the server cash, if I want to tip them.

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The company that employs the folks that need the tip is asking you to subsidize the wages that are just barely above subsistence level. Instead of asking "Would you like to add a tip?" it should say "Would you like to contribute to our CEO's annual bonus?" As a senior I rarely go anywhere that requires tipping. When I do add a tip, I do it a little differently. I always tap the "No Tip" option. If the person providing the service is deserving, I tip generously in cash. That keeps the employer from even knowing about it, and it can make the day for the service provider, who is clearly doing her (usually it's a woman) best to do a good job in a very challenging time. I worked in food service in my college years, and I know how hard a job it can be. In my first job as a dishwasher I was paid 90 cents an hour, half of which came from the tips the waitresses received.

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This brings up another terrible thing about tipping at restraunts - you think you're tipping the waitress and maybe the bartender but in reality you're subsidizing half the kitchen, the barback, the exp, the hostess, always the bartender... basically everyone but the manager and sometimes him if he's helping. My wife was a waitress, by the time she tipped out everyone a good third of her take home was gone.

You understand why the restraunts lobby so hard to suppress wages they actually pay their employees when you look at how much free labor they get in exchange for exploiting their customers. Since managment is immune to basically any bad labor decision you see incredibly abusive situations .

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I keep hearing stories here is Texas about well-established, multiple site restaurants keeping tip money. One BBQ joint kept $200,000 or so. I assume this is from credit card tips.

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founding

That is a smart policy and I’m going to do the same from now on.

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I tip cash too.

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I almost always tip in cash, if only so that the employee can possibly withhold it from the tax man (er, tax person...)

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I prefer giving my money directly to the employee rather than through a company middle man. It’s not as though the employees are being underpaid, if that were so then they would not take the job. If they agreed to the transaction (labor for x compensation) then they agree that engaging in such trade is a benefit to them, otherwise they would have declined the trade. The problem is most people aren’t happy to discover the true value of their labor on the market. Tipping culture allows me to reward quality service so that they aren’t stuck being compensated the same as their less ambitious coworkers.

You take a very grim view of trade, as if free trade were inherently exploitative instead of liberating.

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My New Yorker cartoon idea:

A patient being wheeled into an operating room where he sees not only several surgeons holding scalpels but also tip jar.

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As a poor resident physician, I’d like to ask- where are my tips for putting in 80hr weeks for my patients?

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Co$metic $urgery

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Oct 25, 2023·edited Oct 25, 2023

As someone from Germany, this is an insane system to us. We only tip over here if we have received good service and we expect the company to pay their employees well enough so that they can actually live from their monthly wage. I'm here to receive a service, it's not my job to directly pay your employees.

Also tax is already included in the price over here, so what you see on the price tag is what you pay.

I went to the States this year and was shocked by the inflation, I remember seeing in a supermarket cherry tomatoes that were three times as expensive as in Germany. I'm not sure how people manage to feed their families.

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THAT is simply not true. Landed at FRA my first trip to Germany. First stop the men's room. Guarded by an elderly Attendant with a tablefull of towels -- and coins -- in front of her. And I having not a mark on me. (Yeah they don't have marks any more -- but I doubt that the syndrome has changed.)

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I was talking about restaurants. That's a different pair of shoes. In public toilets you almost always have to pay a small fee, unless they are attached to an establishment where you have already spent money (like a restaurant or cinema).

I also often tip my cosmetician, hairdresser, delivery person etc. but in Germany it isn't expected of you. You do it because you want to honour good service, not because you have to.

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Gotcha. Here in the Peoples' Republic of New Jersey, add gas station attendant.

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I live in NJ and I see almost nobody doing that.

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I don't either. It doesn't stop me.

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Good for you. I think the real answer is that NJ join the other 49 states and allow you to pump your own gas.

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Went back to Germany a few years ago. I was shocked how much cheaper groceries, hotels and such were.

I remember when Europe was the most expensive you could go.

Many people here have to eat junk food with crappy, obesity causing additives, to answer your question.

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We have a federal minimum wage exemption for waiters and bartenders, so it’s really part of their pay.

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I’m not sure I like our system here in America.

But I KNOW that I don’t like it when foreign visitors (pretend they) don’t know how it works here, and don’t tip. My daughter worked at a really good restaurant that had many foreign tourists. It happened to her a lot.

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I took my wife out for a nice dinner at an expensive seafood restaurant at the Seattle waterfront a few months ago and saw their very small print that stated they add a 20% charge to EVERY bill and the charge goes to the "company" to help pay for overhead. It also stated that the 20% was NOT a tip for the service staff! So basically they're charging 40(+) % more than the listed prices of food & drinks.

(assuming you give a 20% tip, which I ALWAYS d

I'll never set foot in a restaurant like that again.

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Name names, we need to know where to avoid during our travels.

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Elliots oyster house, pier 56 Seattle. To be fair, it does provide a top tier dinner experience. Too bad they ruin it with the grift.

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I too live in the Seattle area. Will be sure not to go there!

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In a lot of very lefty areas, the regulatory costs are extravagant, and that is as much a political statement as it is a plea for money.

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Tipping once was appreciation for good service, not just for presence. I reject tipping for counter service or self-service where I have to do the major work of carrying tray. In some of the newer "convenience" stores, you order your food on a kiosk, wait in lie to receive your order, and check out at an automated register where you are asked on the screen if you want to add a tip (for what? I ask). Where service is provided, I will tailor my tip to the appearance, performance, and friendliness of the server, and I have left notes of complaint.

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I am a very good tipper in sit-down restaurants, although my tips are directly commensurate with the service I received. A crappy server who ignored our table gets 5-10%. A server who made a genuine effort to make our experience pleasant gets 30% or more.

But I unapologetically refuse to tip in situations where the person getting the tip interacted with me for less than a minute.

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Completely agree! Tipping is ONLY for actual humans who provided a service. Ringing up my order after I stood in line doesn’t count! By that definition, you should be tipping the cashier at Target.

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That's not a Thing yet?

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The cashiers in my area are so slipshod and sullen that I would be delighted to tip a decent cashier who didn’t crush my loaf of breads

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And bananas. Do they now teach them to put your bananas on the bottom now? I snatch them up the moment they're scanned and hand carry them.

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This is why I like self-checkout. I can bag my groceries the way *I* want them, not the way the bagger thought was adequate.

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Yes, went to a new restaurant that was cashless - huge pet peeve- and you tipped when you ordered, from a machine. So the only thing a person did was bring the food. I didn't go back.

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My own solution is to cook for myself and make my own coffee. I can't afford to pay others to do that for me.

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I swear our contemporary society runs on guilt - ‘white guilt’, ‘tipping guilt’ etc. - the best advice would be to grow a spine. : )

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I would also draw your attention to the “round-up” question at the end of an automated transaction, purportedly for some emotionally disarming cause. First, they make the request look like you are being asked for permission to share information or something else not involving money, and secondly, you really have no idea where that money will go. Generally you realize what you spent after the transaction is complete and you can’t wait to get out of there. I say, fight back. Give less until they stop pushing.

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I had this exact scenario in an REI last summer in Salt Lake City. Round up and my spare change goes to the charity of their choice. I declined. The cashier actually said something like, “It’s just 25 cents!” I replied, “Why don’t you give me your pocket change for a charity of my choice?”

I only shop REI online now.

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Here’s my issues with this: the company gets the tax benefit of the donation, not the customer paying it. Add up all the times you’re asked and make your own charitable contribution of your choice, and happily get the tax credit as well. I tell them I already make charitable contributions.

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A lot of times the company has already made the donation for tax purposes and you're just paying them back for it. Giving at the register usually doesn't actually help the charity.

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Even more infuriating!

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founding

Cue the South Park episode where Randy refuses the charity donation and is shamed by everyone at Whole Foods.

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What nobody tells you is yes, the money goes to charity but via the retail company conducting the transaction - which then writes that $ off their taxes. So you're not paying charity so much as writing of $0.39 of the retailer's taxes for them.

I mean, yes the charity gets the money but I can dontate via any other means and write that off myself.

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The only "rounding up" I cheerful do is at McDonald's, because it goes to their own Ronald McDonald House charity.

Taco Bell wants me to round up "for children's education." What, precisely, would that money be going towards? Even their website is very vague about the details. Nope, nope, nope.

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“Could you please subsidize the wages of the poor NGO employees of ________ charity?”

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My problem is that a lot of these charities are to "fight hunger". Have you seen poor people?

They need charities to fight obesity, not hunger.

I do have a supermarket that asks you to donate food for animal rescue groups, and I will contribute to that.

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I’ve had it with tipping. I tip servers only. Everyone else can be paid by their employer.

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The take-out coffee prices have gotten out of control! I will die on this hill!

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I actually avoid my nearest Starbucks because it is unionized and their union made it clear they want me in an oven.

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I will die from caffiene pills, it's brewed by me or lobby coffee from now on

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My own work-around on the steep run-up in coffee prices goes like this: I buy the same number of cups each day, leave the same tip for each, but cut way back on offering to buy for my friends.

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You know, there is always the option of brewing your own and using a Thermos.

Or is that too blue collar?

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As guy who used to wait tables in high school and college, this stuff is offensive. Jobs where tips were expected were legally paid well BELOW minimum wage - I recall $2 an hour or so because tips would make up the difference. Now people get paid minimum wage or more and expect tips. This is not at all how it was supposed to work. I decline to tip outside of restaurants consistently and consciously avoid going to places that require an awkward encounter with a demanding tip screen.

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TBF minimum wage is $7 and change in some places…

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founding

Darling Olivia, thank you for this terrific article. Next time, take an empty water bottle to the airport and fill it up once you pass security. And pack your own snacks too.

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+1 for the Vapur water bottle, which is cheap, clips to a bag and folds when not in use

Perfect for airport/travel where you don't necessarily have a water bottle pocket at all times

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And if you like ice in your water you can take ice in your bottle through security.

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Great advice, Chana! Now, if I can only get myself to remember it....

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I have long agreed with Miss Manners' comment: “Tipping advice is often given out by the people who expect to receive it,” she adds, “and they're very generous with themselves.”

They've also gotten help from friendly media types.

That's the reason the standard tip has gone from 10% in the 1980's to 15% in the 2000's to 20% today. And why, apparently, it will be 100% in a few years.

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These corporations leading the charge are making hand over fist and exploiting the consumer. Look at Chipotle’s share price. A little over 10 years ago after graduating college I finally felt that I “made it” because I could afford to pay the extra $$$ for Guacamole. I remember it coming out to between $9.50-$10 for the burrito (after guac)

I received an email the other day for a BOGO burrito only w/ using their mobile app delivery service.

After tax BEFORE tip w/ the coupon (of course guac on both) it came out to $33.75.

My wife and I live in Orange County CA.

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